Hard times, Good God pt.2

It has always been my resolve on this blog to give an honest account of my life, what goes on and how it affects me, it's a window from the world into my life.

As I wrote last time things have not been easy, and it continues to be the case, but it continues to be the case that God is faithful and God is good, in fact that will always continue to be the case.

It's very easy during these times to pretend God is not speaking, yet often it is the case that God is just not saying what you want him to! I know for myself God is speaking but it is more to deal with what I am going through now than plans for next year, 5 years, 10 years etc.

This week was the last week of me and Rach leading Emerge the student work in Sidcup, we were asked to step down because we could not give as much time to it as others could, which we understand, and agree with(we agree in the sense that God has given us peace about it)

When a decision like this occurs it sparks lots of thoughts, some natural, some Godly, some bitter and ungodly. Unfortunatelty these are the seasons that no-one wants to go through, but the ones you are most likely to grow through. It is certainly the case, all your motives are checked and you understand more about who you are serving and your character.

We feel we have given everything on this journey, juggling new jobs, a new relationship, for me a new/old church and Emerge. We have given a lot and not necessarily received much for it, but this is a lesson in itself, if we are truly serving God and him alone, then our reward is in him and not in earthly treasures, I can truly say that through this saga I have found many of my motives have been about me - why didn't I get the praise I deserved, what about my giftings, does anyone care about me?

They'er all very selfish thoughts and not really important ones. As I said God has been speaking through this season and two specific things come to mind - one is unity in the church, the devil really wants to have a field day in this season, by pointing out every blemish in this church, it is so easy to get bitter at the moment, but why should I serve the evil one, who am I to do him a favour, I really don't want to be bitter I want to be a part of the unity of the body of christ.

The other thing God has put on my heart is Psalm 34 - to praise him at all times, that he is good and blesses those who refuge in him, the those who seek God lack no good thing, he hears the cry of the righteous and delivers him from his troubles.

It has been our resolve in our lives and in leading the last 3 Emerges that we would give God everything we have, we praise God when its good and we praise him when it's hard, I don't want to pretend to anyone that disappointment doesn't happen or things don't get hard - and I imagine at times this blog could seem depressing - but I want to be realistic about the highs and lows and how I try to deal with them in a human sense and then when I realise the futility of that, then in a godly sense.

I hope that helps

Hard Times, Good God

As ever it's been a long time since I last blogged, sorry about that!

As ever it's been a busy time, with ups and downs, and "sometimes the ups outnumber the downs, but not in Nottingham" (as sung by the Rooster in the disney classic Robin Hood) just replace Nottingham with Sidcup or more specifically my life/ mine and Rach's lives.

However not wanting to dwell on difficulties I've seen the grace of God at every turn, when we face hardships, we also see the glory of God and I certainly understand more of who God is and how great he is.

It would be wrong of me to list all of the troubles we have faced over the last month and things have been hard on and off for many months, but this has given us a greater testimony of God's grace.

My car was crashed into, but fortunately there was little damage and it was not my fault so should be covered by the other driver. This was on the morning I was expecting my exam resit results. Thankfully, I passed and I am grateful to God that I did as I still have my job, due to his grace.

I can't say I understand what I/ we are going through it's hard and at times it really sucks, but then as I look upwards I see how great God is, and when I look in his word I understand that I am not alone in what I go through and I'm certainly not the first, I'm just thankful that I have a great God. There is no one like him, I can genuinely say in every situation God is worthy.

My prayer is not to never suffer, but to glorify God every time it gets hard.