Leaving so soon pt.3

Last Year in Loughborough....

At the end of my FP year I felt that I wouldn't be staying on in Loughborough beyond my degree. However I also felt that I was called to go back to Sidcup for the summer, that it wasn't just a return home for the holidays, but a time to pursue God in all things.

So, I went back and tried to get myself in to that mindset, however on the back of a hard FP year it was hard to motivate myself and build my relationship with God. Yet it got better, but in a way I didn't expect.

Every summer for as long as I have known, I have been to Christian conferences. For the last few years this would mean going to the Brighton Conference in July and Newday in August. However I felt God say to not go to either. Whilst Newday was on, my difficulties seemed even more acute, but on the Sunday, during the Matt Redman song 'You never let go' I felt a change.
I prayed out and God began an amazing work in me, to the extent that I sort to pursue God with all my heart. At the end of the summer I met up with Tim Blaber, student leader at New Community and he asked me if I would consider returning to Sidcup to lead the student work. This came as a big surprise to me, I had been praying to God about where I was to go post-degree, but I had excluded Sidcup as I'd had a prophecy when I was in Spain, that 'Sitting in a pew in a big church will kill you', basically just going to a big church without a role would be spiritual suicide, so i'd ruled Sidcup out. Yet when I prayed into it felt like I would go, but somehow I wasn't in a position to make that decision yet.

Returning to Loughborough was nice after having been away for 3 months and people were very encouraging, and I had a real sense of purpose to work hard in my final year and to honour God in the way that I work. However life soon became hard, I was still deliberating over the decision, and Sunday mornings had become no less hard than they had been in my FP year. I felt under real attack and one week it felt like the rug of faith had been pulled from underneath me, I questioned things that I had always taken as read, and life was hard. The crunch point came one week after church when there was community group meals afterwards and so everyone went to those, yet I didn't have a community group and wandered home, wondering why life was so hard and lonely.

Life can be hard and serving can be costly, but God dealt with me graciously, I decided to stop waiting for some kind of miraculous sign and accept the offer to take on the student work, and God gave me confirmation that I had made the right decision. Things got better and there have been ups and downs since, but these last 6 months have flown by so quickly that I have little I can remember to write. The main themes have been job interviews and working for exams. In between I have raised up a new setup team and handed over responsibility for it, and have run with all I can to pursue God.

So I have only one more Sunday left at the Well Church. I've given my all and pursued God over these last 4 years, and the pursuit has been not only well worth it but also reciprocal! I have given much over my time at the Well, but what I've given has been more than repaid, by the love and warmth of my family that is the church, the input of so many wonderfully gifted people and the opportunity to grow and flourish. It hasn't always been easy, but I am so thankful to so many people who have shaped me over this 4 years. I have changed so much over the 4 years (hopefully all for the better), from a elderly boy who was quite shy to a young man who shaves and more importantly is confident in who he is in Christ and who is privelidged to be a recipient of God's lavish grace and to be called a son.

Leaving so soon pt.2

Arriving in Loughborough, although bouyed by the holy spirit, i was also nervous, and I find it hard meeting new people, but God was so gracious in his provision and I had a christian not just in my hall but in the same block as me. My first year in Loughborough, came with the inevitable challenges of settling into a new place. I got stuck in not just to church life but also Christian Union. It was a great shock to me to be offered the CU presidency after just 3 months, but with much deliberation and consulting those with greater wisdom than I, I felt my responsibility lay with serving the church. At the end of year 1 I was serving and enjoying life in the borough.

Year 2 brought new challenges, living with non-christians and stepping up in many ways. I discovered the wonders of the canal and spent many mornings walking along the towpath. However the most significant thing that happened, was being discipled by Ben Heap. God showed me that I had need to learn from one further on than I, and Ben taught, challenged and encouraged me. By the end of the academic year I was leading the setup team and I had preached in church. I was also learning that God's plans are better than mine, as my idea of a placement year to earn money turned into a year doing FP (FP stands for Frontier Project, it's where you take a year out to voluntarily work for your local church).

My FP/3^rd year was an intense time, on the very first day I learnt that my elder would be leaving in the spring and handing over leadership in the late Autumn. It was a difficult time, adapting to the rigours of church life and dealing with the uncertainty that any leadership change brings. During the training weeks God did much work in me, rooting out arrogance and pride, instilling confidence in his abundant grace and all sufficient nature and teaching me wonderful truths about himself. Both Martin and Dave, although very different to work with were both really good to work for and I enjoyed getting to know both of them personally. God blessed me abundantly during this year, I'm especially grateful to the generosity of my housemates Ben and Tim who covered the majority of the food and bills during the year, to Josh who gave me a contribution every month and to my parents and brother who gave me donations as they felt necessary.

The highlight of the year was going for a week to Valencia, in Spain and learning about church planting in another culture and the faith to believe God can build something from nothing. The biggest achievement was stepping up and being on the front foot in meetings every week, whether serving or bringing contributions, it really increased my respect for those who lead, because if you lead a church you can't just turn up and go 'I don't feel like it this week, I'll sit at the back' you have to be at the front leading. Lastly my lowlight was when the projector screen which was partially broken at the back (held up by the wonders of gaffa tape), started to slowly close, being the FPer and setup team leader I rushed in to try to restore the screen to its intended size unfortunately the screen collapsed, I got the projector shining in my eyes (otherwise known as the Damascus experience) and a lot of puzzled and amused faces looking my way. In hindsight it was funny, at the time it was just embarrassing.

TBC – one more anecdotal part to go.