At the moment everything feels like a slog, I have two exams tomorrow, and the stress is mounting! Life seems hard at the moment, lots of pressure as we hurtle towards Christmas, I don't feel like I've had time to catch my breath, let alone blog!
In the words of the prophet Habakkuk (paraphrased), though life is unfair, though things don't seem to make sense, yet I will rejoice in my God.
Though things at the moment are hard (not due to any particular circumstance, just the cumulation of working life), I have found that God is still as worthy as he ever was.
At New Community Church at the moment, we are currently undergoing a move of buildings and a change in the new year to two meetings, whilst as a student work in the church we are moving from the chuch centre to the University Campus, as we want to be at the heart of student life, with the gospel in our hands, building relationships and making disciples.
Is it too much change? It seems that the slightest change, the smallest upheavel can frustrate people, if you don't understand the reasoning, if you don't see the purpose, then the change is a nuisance. Take for instance website changes, Facebook changes its layout and people get up in arms about it, but after a while they get used to it, I suppose it is because we are creatures of habit, but too much comfort is no good.
But don't misunderstand me, we are not moving for changes sake, we feel the purpose of God strongly as a student work to move to Campus, it is a strategic and prophetic move for advancement of the gospel, into one of the darkest places in our area. In the bible we see that the gospel is not hidden but shone out, we see that the Israelites were constantly on the move, even when they were settled in the promised land, their borders constantly changed, and in the new testament we see missionaries open up new areas with the gospel, planting churches and changing lives.
So at times life is hard but it is often better than being comfortable, the times I grow most are when I am stretched, the times I rely on God most are when I'm at the end of my abilities and look to God to see things happen, this is where I am at and pray will always be on my knees, praying for God to move.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Friday, 24 October 2008
Delirious, driving and stepping up
I went to the delirious gig at the O2 last Saturday night, they were so good. To think that for nearly 13 years they have been entertaining crowds on both sides of the pond with their soaring guitar riffs and God-centred lyrics. Saturday night had passion, emotion and intensity. What impressed me is that Delirious can switch between the emotion of songs such as Jesus Blood or All Gods Children to the pace and charisma of God is Smiling Over Us and History Maker.
Delirious were ably supported by Tree63 who are an old favourite of mine, and the gig was well worth the ticket price of £18 for the “VIP” section at the indigo O2. Somehow the VIP tickets were all that were left, so we managed to avoid the queues and get into the lift with Jon Thatcher (the bassist from Delirious), and then enter the VIP lounge where the band and their kids were sitting before the gig! It pays sometimes to book late!
What impressed me most about Delirious is that through all their successes and criticisms they still love God and are unashamed to bring his message. Martin Smith spoke a couple of times about God moving and anything he missed was aptly filled with the lyrics of songs such as Jesus blood.
All in all for those in Loughborough next week, you are in for a treat.
This Saturday I’m hopefully getting a car, quite possibly a Seat Ibiza 1.2, so it will be interesting to start driving around, rather than walking, cycling or catching the train.
Lastly thought I’d just mention at the moment at NCC the real emphasis is on being missional re: Mark Driscoll’s word at Brighton and also to see people stepping-up, as a church we have been increasingly shaped by Luke 5 and the disciples catching many fish, and we are also being stirred as we go through Acts, there is real momentum and expectation, which is exciting, we just need to make sure we don’t lose sight of God and that we are ready and willing to be used and to step out and to step up.
Delirious were ably supported by Tree63 who are an old favourite of mine, and the gig was well worth the ticket price of £18 for the “VIP” section at the indigo O2. Somehow the VIP tickets were all that were left, so we managed to avoid the queues and get into the lift with Jon Thatcher (the bassist from Delirious), and then enter the VIP lounge where the band and their kids were sitting before the gig! It pays sometimes to book late!
What impressed me most about Delirious is that through all their successes and criticisms they still love God and are unashamed to bring his message. Martin Smith spoke a couple of times about God moving and anything he missed was aptly filled with the lyrics of songs such as Jesus blood.
All in all for those in Loughborough next week, you are in for a treat.
This Saturday I’m hopefully getting a car, quite possibly a Seat Ibiza 1.2, so it will be interesting to start driving around, rather than walking, cycling or catching the train.
Lastly thought I’d just mention at the moment at NCC the real emphasis is on being missional re: Mark Driscoll’s word at Brighton and also to see people stepping-up, as a church we have been increasingly shaped by Luke 5 and the disciples catching many fish, and we are also being stirred as we go through Acts, there is real momentum and expectation, which is exciting, we just need to make sure we don’t lose sight of God and that we are ready and willing to be used and to step out and to step up.
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
Pride, anger and Sin
Football is a game that I enjoy passionately. However recently a lack of time has prevented me from playing. So upfit and eager I trained for the first time in ages and played a 6 a side game. Now for those of you who don't know I'm a defender, I play to win and try to stop attacks and generally anyone coming past me. I only know one way to play football, and most sports for that matter, it's all or nothing, phrases like "it's only a game" only serve to aggravate me as the inference behind the comment is always you are playing too hard or don't take it seriously. I have no 99% only 100%, sometimes I'll admit my 100% is not great but it is always 100%. The problem comes where playing at 100% often means going over the limit, my blood starts boiling and tackles fly. Unfortunately football brings out the worst in me, it flares my temper and causes me to take vengeance which isn't right, but I know no other way to play.
The pride part is where I believe I'm better than I am or that I deserve status and acknowledgement. Now i am a leader, I don't believe that statement is a proud one as it takes a lot for me to write that, however I oftne have thoughts, of "I could do that better" or "I deserve to be more important" etc. etc.
Why am I blogging about my shortcomings? Because I am becoming more and more aware of them, as I have started working, I have become more tired and when I am tired I am more often tempted into sin or more likely to make foolish errors. It is only God's grace that holds me, his love that perpetuates me, I am weak, but I am so glad God uses weak people. I am a leader but have done nothing to deserve such a title, yet God has placed it upon me out of his love and grace, praise be to God.
Whatever God has given you whether much or little use it wisely and widely. It is better to have few gifts used to their maximum than many gifts that are squandered.
The pride part is where I believe I'm better than I am or that I deserve status and acknowledgement. Now i am a leader, I don't believe that statement is a proud one as it takes a lot for me to write that, however I oftne have thoughts, of "I could do that better" or "I deserve to be more important" etc. etc.
Why am I blogging about my shortcomings? Because I am becoming more and more aware of them, as I have started working, I have become more tired and when I am tired I am more often tempted into sin or more likely to make foolish errors. It is only God's grace that holds me, his love that perpetuates me, I am weak, but I am so glad God uses weak people. I am a leader but have done nothing to deserve such a title, yet God has placed it upon me out of his love and grace, praise be to God.
Whatever God has given you whether much or little use it wisely and widely. It is better to have few gifts used to their maximum than many gifts that are squandered.
Monday, 15 September 2008
Engaging with the world the creation debate
Whilst browsing the BBC website I noticed this interesting article on creationism
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7613403.stm
Creationism has reached prominence due to the election in America. Sarah Palin stated that she felt creationism should be taught in schools. The God debate has had a profound impact on the US elections with debates on abortion and creationism. At the start of the campaign, when candidates were being selected, the question was asked whether the candidates believed in evolution
The response from three candidates was no. McCain answered yes but attempted to defend his position, to what is a difficult question if you consider micro-evolution.
Often you will hear that people don't care about God anymore, but I perceive that if you engage people they have a view on it. It appears to me that the issue of creationism and whether there is a God is becoming prominent again.
Today on my lunchbreak I wanted through Borders bookshop. I found several books that engaged my interest Radio 4s John Humphrey's "Confessions of a failed atheist" a book about agnosticism, Dawkins now infamous "The God Delusion" and although I did not see it there the referenced Christopher Hitchens book "God is not great". People are willing to put there view forward on christianity and whether God exists. (Now I have not read these books but only browsed them). What encourages me is that we have Christian books emerging such as John Piper's "The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World" and Tim Keller's "The Reason for God".
We need to be those who engage with the world not defensively but offensively. We need to read atheistic literature that attacks God and respond to it, because this is what people think and feel about the King of Kings and we need to engage with them to show them his glory and grace.
Hopefully I'll post my thoughts on the US elections and all that is happening and has happened soon.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7613403.stm
Creationism has reached prominence due to the election in America. Sarah Palin stated that she felt creationism should be taught in schools. The God debate has had a profound impact on the US elections with debates on abortion and creationism. At the start of the campaign, when candidates were being selected, the question was asked whether the candidates believed in evolution
The response from three candidates was no. McCain answered yes but attempted to defend his position, to what is a difficult question if you consider micro-evolution.
Often you will hear that people don't care about God anymore, but I perceive that if you engage people they have a view on it. It appears to me that the issue of creationism and whether there is a God is becoming prominent again.
Today on my lunchbreak I wanted through Borders bookshop. I found several books that engaged my interest Radio 4s John Humphrey's "Confessions of a failed atheist" a book about agnosticism, Dawkins now infamous "The God Delusion" and although I did not see it there the referenced Christopher Hitchens book "God is not great". People are willing to put there view forward on christianity and whether God exists. (Now I have not read these books but only browsed them). What encourages me is that we have Christian books emerging such as John Piper's "The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World" and Tim Keller's "The Reason for God".
We need to be those who engage with the world not defensively but offensively. We need to read atheistic literature that attacks God and respond to it, because this is what people think and feel about the King of Kings and we need to engage with them to show them his glory and grace.
Hopefully I'll post my thoughts on the US elections and all that is happening and has happened soon.
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
A Working Man
I've started work! This seemed a distant reality back in August, when I was applying for anything going. On Thursday and Friday I had my induction in the City office and the last two days I've been at College in Angel studying towards my ACA. I've had to deal with the hustle and bustle of commuting and learning Accountancy all over again.
There is a contrast between being unemployed and working, both have their hardships. Being unemployed requires discipline to get things done and to get up and going, it can be easy to lose half a day when you're unemployed. When you are working there is a different problem, you have to get to work but it is finding time to fit things in around work. Whilst unemployed I struggled to use the abundant time I had to read, now I fit it in while I'm on the train, somehow with less time I am more productive.
It's odd being at college this week, as it reminds me of 6th Form except that I am getting paid to learn! This gives me extra motivation.
However, whichever situation you find yourself in work as if working for the Lord (Colossians 3:23) whether unemployed or working honour God with your time, your heart, your mind all of your life!
Hopefully I'll be able to keep blogging whilst working. It's a busy season at the moment though, with new job, and students coming back soon.
There is a contrast between being unemployed and working, both have their hardships. Being unemployed requires discipline to get things done and to get up and going, it can be easy to lose half a day when you're unemployed. When you are working there is a different problem, you have to get to work but it is finding time to fit things in around work. Whilst unemployed I struggled to use the abundant time I had to read, now I fit it in while I'm on the train, somehow with less time I am more productive.
It's odd being at college this week, as it reminds me of 6th Form except that I am getting paid to learn! This gives me extra motivation.
However, whichever situation you find yourself in work as if working for the Lord (Colossians 3:23) whether unemployed or working honour God with your time, your heart, your mind all of your life!
Hopefully I'll be able to keep blogging whilst working. It's a busy season at the moment though, with new job, and students coming back soon.
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
Humour
If you like random pun humour this is well worth seeing:
Mitch Jones on Stand Up on 7
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b007xrxn/
Also really like Mark Watson on Radio 4
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00d0sjl/
Mitch Jones on Stand Up on 7
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b007xrxn/
Also really like Mark Watson on Radio 4
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00d0sjl/
Monday, 25 August 2008
The Providence of God
For the last couple of months, since moving back to Sidcup, life has been hard. As I ahve previously blogged, I felt called to come back to Sidcup, but I have struggled to find a job and without a job it means I can't move out of home. Last week at church I was just holding on to God and where as previously I had been angry at him for the situation, I repented and prayed Habakkuk's prayer (Habakkuk 3 v17-19), Though I have not a job, though I have not moved out into a new home, though life is tough and doesn't make sense, still I will praise you.
In fact much of the process of the last few months feels like Habbakuk. Asking why Lord?, And understanding that God is sovereign seemed only to make the situation worse! Habakkuk says God why are you going to do this? It doesn't make sense! And why the Babylonians! Habakkuk knew God was doing this, not life, not circumstance, not karma (this is another topic, people say Karma is "everything happens for a reason" and to some extent I believe this is true, but karma has no concept of grace)CJ Mahaney did a great preach on this called "When Life Doesn't make sense" at Together on A Mission 2005.
So I praised God in spite of circumstance, because he is worthy, and he loved me when I was in the miry pit (Psalm 40 v2).
God is faithful and this is how he has blessed me this week.
On Thursday Rachel got in from her trip to Chicago, and I planned to surprise her at the airport. Her flight got in at 8am so I planned the journey leaving Sidcup at 6:11am and arriving at Heathrow at 7:45am. However checking the flight arrival times her flight was getting in early at 7:25, and I was thinking I was going to miss her. Sitting on the Piccadilly line was interminable, the journey seemed to go in slow motion, and then we got to Hounslow. Hounslow, Hounslow, Hounslow, why do you need 3 stations it just slowed me down Hounslow Central, Hounslow East, Hounslow West, couldn't you just have one! Then once we got past Hounslow (the time now being 7:45 and me thinking she's probably already left Heathrow) we stopped at Terminal 4 for 8 minutes! I felt like pushing the train to terminal 1,2,3.
Finally I got there, found terminal 3 arrivals and waited. I soon realised there was a fork in arrivals so passengers could go two ways and I was standing at the end of one, I though tI'm bound to miss her! so I mover to the centre and waited and waited for her to come out. So I phoned her, but not wanting to ruin the surprise I asked where she was and what time she'd arrive at Sidcup station! Finally she came out and I held my banner up saying Rachel, she looked around seemingly oblivious until she finally saw it and I flipped it over to say "Will you go out with me" and she said YES!. Providence of God.
Then Friday I got up early to send my CV over to a firm I'd seen advertising in the paper, I phoned the agency who said it's unlikely I'll get anything until September, dampening my spirits. Then the firm I sent the CV to phoned back and offered me an interview, then one of the jobs I'd applied for on the internet phoned and offered me an interview on Thursday and then one of the firms I'd applied for in June/July and done interviews for, (but they ran out of positions), said someone had dropped out and offered me the position in Redhill!!! So after weeks of no interviews, many applications, signing on for the agency, suddenly the door was opened and I have 2 interviews and a job offer!!! and then Friday night me and Rach had our first date.
God is faithful, the challenge for me now is to continue to rely upon him, trust him and worship him, as the Matt Redman song says "Praise him when I'm laughing, when I'm grieving, every season of the soul". During this time, I've prayed to God (the job process has taken 10 months since my first application), wrestled with God (no dislocated hip though!), and persevered when all felt lost, yet not I, not my works but God's abundant grace has brought this change of situation, still many hurdles remain, house, student work starting up, which job to accept, maintaining and growing our relationship(I'ma complete novice when it comes to dating), but God is abundantly faithful and gracious. Amen and praise his name.
In fact much of the process of the last few months feels like Habbakuk. Asking why Lord?, And understanding that God is sovereign seemed only to make the situation worse! Habakkuk says God why are you going to do this? It doesn't make sense! And why the Babylonians! Habakkuk knew God was doing this, not life, not circumstance, not karma (this is another topic, people say Karma is "everything happens for a reason" and to some extent I believe this is true, but karma has no concept of grace)CJ Mahaney did a great preach on this called "When Life Doesn't make sense" at Together on A Mission 2005.
So I praised God in spite of circumstance, because he is worthy, and he loved me when I was in the miry pit (Psalm 40 v2).
God is faithful and this is how he has blessed me this week.
On Thursday Rachel got in from her trip to Chicago, and I planned to surprise her at the airport. Her flight got in at 8am so I planned the journey leaving Sidcup at 6:11am and arriving at Heathrow at 7:45am. However checking the flight arrival times her flight was getting in early at 7:25, and I was thinking I was going to miss her. Sitting on the Piccadilly line was interminable, the journey seemed to go in slow motion, and then we got to Hounslow. Hounslow, Hounslow, Hounslow, why do you need 3 stations it just slowed me down Hounslow Central, Hounslow East, Hounslow West, couldn't you just have one! Then once we got past Hounslow (the time now being 7:45 and me thinking she's probably already left Heathrow) we stopped at Terminal 4 for 8 minutes! I felt like pushing the train to terminal 1,2,3.
Finally I got there, found terminal 3 arrivals and waited. I soon realised there was a fork in arrivals so passengers could go two ways and I was standing at the end of one, I though tI'm bound to miss her! so I mover to the centre and waited and waited for her to come out. So I phoned her, but not wanting to ruin the surprise I asked where she was and what time she'd arrive at Sidcup station! Finally she came out and I held my banner up saying Rachel, she looked around seemingly oblivious until she finally saw it and I flipped it over to say "Will you go out with me" and she said YES!. Providence of God.
Then Friday I got up early to send my CV over to a firm I'd seen advertising in the paper, I phoned the agency who said it's unlikely I'll get anything until September, dampening my spirits. Then the firm I sent the CV to phoned back and offered me an interview, then one of the jobs I'd applied for on the internet phoned and offered me an interview on Thursday and then one of the firms I'd applied for in June/July and done interviews for, (but they ran out of positions), said someone had dropped out and offered me the position in Redhill!!! So after weeks of no interviews, many applications, signing on for the agency, suddenly the door was opened and I have 2 interviews and a job offer!!! and then Friday night me and Rach had our first date.
God is faithful, the challenge for me now is to continue to rely upon him, trust him and worship him, as the Matt Redman song says "Praise him when I'm laughing, when I'm grieving, every season of the soul". During this time, I've prayed to God (the job process has taken 10 months since my first application), wrestled with God (no dislocated hip though!), and persevered when all felt lost, yet not I, not my works but God's abundant grace has brought this change of situation, still many hurdles remain, house, student work starting up, which job to accept, maintaining and growing our relationship(I'ma complete novice when it comes to dating), but God is abundantly faithful and gracious. Amen and praise his name.
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