Of the Love of Christ

I've been reading some of John Bunyan's works lately (he wrote Pilgrim's Progress, a classic story of the search and adventure of faith.) I came upon this poem by Bunyan called 'Of the Love of Christ' it is in old english and so maybe hard to read but the message comes through clear, and the last few lines are especially wonderful! That we who were captives can become kings!

The love of Christ, poor I! may touch upon;
But 'tis unsearchable. Oh! there is none
Its large dimensions can comprehend
Should they dilate thereon world without end.
When we had sinned, in his zeal he sware,
That he upon his back our sins would bear.
And since unto sin is entailed death,
He vowed for our sins he'd lose his breath.
He did not only say, vow, or resolve,
But to astonishment did so involve
Himself in man's distress and misery,
As for, and with him, both to live and die.
To his eternal fame in sacred story,
We find that he did lay aside his glory,
Stepped from the throne of highest dignity,
Became poor man, did in a manger lie;
Yea, was beholden unto his for bread,
Had, of his own, not where to lay his head;
Though rich, he did for us become thus poor,
That he might make us rich for evermore.
Nor was this but the least of what he did,
But the outside of what he suffered?
God made his blessed son under the law,
Under the curse, which, like the lion's paw,
Did rent and tear his soul for mankind's sin,
More than if we for it in hell had been.
His cries, his tears, and bloody agony,
The nature of his death doth testify.
Nor did he of constraint himself thus give,
For sin, to death, that man might with him live.
He did do what he did most willingly,
He sung, and gave God thanks, that he must die.
But do kings use to die for captive slaves?
Yet we were such when Jesus died to save's.
Yea, when he made himself a sacrifice,
It was that he might save his enemies.
And though he was provoked to retract
His blest resolves for such so good an act,
By the abusive carriages of those
That did both him, his love, and grace oppose;
Yet he, as unconcerned with such things,
Goes on, determines to make captives kings;
Yea, many of his murderers he takes
Into his favour, and them princes makes.

John Bunyan.

The next post is going to be a long one, so advanced apologies.

Leaving so soon pt.3

Last Year in Loughborough....

At the end of my FP year I felt that I wouldn't be staying on in Loughborough beyond my degree. However I also felt that I was called to go back to Sidcup for the summer, that it wasn't just a return home for the holidays, but a time to pursue God in all things.

So, I went back and tried to get myself in to that mindset, however on the back of a hard FP year it was hard to motivate myself and build my relationship with God. Yet it got better, but in a way I didn't expect.

Every summer for as long as I have known, I have been to Christian conferences. For the last few years this would mean going to the Brighton Conference in July and Newday in August. However I felt God say to not go to either. Whilst Newday was on, my difficulties seemed even more acute, but on the Sunday, during the Matt Redman song 'You never let go' I felt a change.
I prayed out and God began an amazing work in me, to the extent that I sort to pursue God with all my heart. At the end of the summer I met up with Tim Blaber, student leader at New Community and he asked me if I would consider returning to Sidcup to lead the student work. This came as a big surprise to me, I had been praying to God about where I was to go post-degree, but I had excluded Sidcup as I'd had a prophecy when I was in Spain, that 'Sitting in a pew in a big church will kill you', basically just going to a big church without a role would be spiritual suicide, so i'd ruled Sidcup out. Yet when I prayed into it felt like I would go, but somehow I wasn't in a position to make that decision yet.

Returning to Loughborough was nice after having been away for 3 months and people were very encouraging, and I had a real sense of purpose to work hard in my final year and to honour God in the way that I work. However life soon became hard, I was still deliberating over the decision, and Sunday mornings had become no less hard than they had been in my FP year. I felt under real attack and one week it felt like the rug of faith had been pulled from underneath me, I questioned things that I had always taken as read, and life was hard. The crunch point came one week after church when there was community group meals afterwards and so everyone went to those, yet I didn't have a community group and wandered home, wondering why life was so hard and lonely.

Life can be hard and serving can be costly, but God dealt with me graciously, I decided to stop waiting for some kind of miraculous sign and accept the offer to take on the student work, and God gave me confirmation that I had made the right decision. Things got better and there have been ups and downs since, but these last 6 months have flown by so quickly that I have little I can remember to write. The main themes have been job interviews and working for exams. In between I have raised up a new setup team and handed over responsibility for it, and have run with all I can to pursue God.

So I have only one more Sunday left at the Well Church. I've given my all and pursued God over these last 4 years, and the pursuit has been not only well worth it but also reciprocal! I have given much over my time at the Well, but what I've given has been more than repaid, by the love and warmth of my family that is the church, the input of so many wonderfully gifted people and the opportunity to grow and flourish. It hasn't always been easy, but I am so thankful to so many people who have shaped me over this 4 years. I have changed so much over the 4 years (hopefully all for the better), from a elderly boy who was quite shy to a young man who shaves and more importantly is confident in who he is in Christ and who is privelidged to be a recipient of God's lavish grace and to be called a son.

If you can keep your head

The famous poem, IF by Rudyard Kipling starts,

"IF you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs"

During final exams and many other times of uncertainty, it is easy to lose your head, easy to worry, easy to fear and easy to blame God for hard times. Hard times are not bad times, they may sometimes feel like it but they reveal and build character and help you in the future.

Despite currently having the most important exams of my life at the moment, I feel at peace, despite clouds of uncertainty and the potential to feel insecure, I feel secure.

Why is this?

Is it because of my laid back, debonair nature and cool calm demeanour? Err, no

No, iti s very evidently the holy spirit in me producing peace, inspite of uncertainty and probably because of it. The fruits of peace have already helped me to witness during the exam period, as I am able to be confident, that if I do my best and fail, God still loves me. Ben's talk last week was very helpful on this. The peace of God distinguishes me from those who are panicking and "losing their heads" (metaphorically of course). And I am able to use this for the gospel.

At present I have two more weeks in Loughborough, before I leave to go to New Community Church, SE London. But I still face uncertainty, I have no job to go into yet, no house at present to move into (I'll move back home temporarily though) and I'll be leaving the place that has become home for the last 4 years. Yet in uncertainty I know God will provide and that he has given me peace to stand, oh his abundant grace how it keeps me and helps me to understand how blessed I am.

What more can I say, but that when faced with uncertainty what can I do but trust in God, who has never failed throughout all eternity.

Lastly I'll leave you with the words from this song

How great is the love of God
How steady is His hand
To guide me through this world
Though I am weak in Him I stand
And you will hear me say today,
In faith, I'm gonna trust in God

The Final

With the selection process now finished we have our finalists.

The selection process though lengthy, has revealed in many cases the true colours of the candidates and there are the inevitable comparisons between experience and youth, and the different backgrounds and upbringings. What is clear is that you didn't necessarily have to be the best candidate to get to this stage, it is more about staying in the race.

Now in truth I am being a little bit guarded here, I am speaking both about the Apprentice and the US presidency, two vastly different jobs, but still two cut throat selection processes. We now know that the Apprentice finalists will be Helene, Claire, Lee and Alex; whilst the US presidency candidates are the Republican John McCain and the Democrat Barack Obama. However Hilary Clinton is manouvering for position as she has yet to formally acknowledge defeat (despite being defeated) if I was Obama I would perhaps let her hang out to dry and embarras herself, rather than meet her supposed demands for the Vice Presidency.

To get to this stage for all concerned has taken a great deal of effort and in the case of the presidency candidates, resources. It may now be a test of stamina rather than genuine ability, Obama will no doubt be more strained after his intense battle with Clinton for the nomination than McCain who has seemingly strolled into the Republican nomination. However McCain's past health problems may catch up with him as they tour the country campaigning for the November elections. Whilst for the apprentice hopefuls those who are tired now after a gruelling selection procedure will struggle in the final task.

Undoubtedly one of the big issues in the US presidency will be experience versus youth, McCain the war veteran vs. Obama the young senator; and this is a recurring argument in any selection procedure, how do you gain experience if you are young without getting exposure to the top jobs. 1 Timothy 4 v12 says "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young," and as young people we can set an example of how to live and act, but we are also called to respect those more experienced than ourselves. Alex in the Apprentice, despite always being defensive, seems especially so about his age being just 24, youth is not there to defend it is there as a positive with potentially years to learn from those ahead of you.

This quote from Pitt the Younger whilst being humourous also serves to make the point about youth and experience.

Pitt was accused by Robert Walpole of being young and theatrical, his retort was such:

The atrocious crime of being a young man, which the honorable gentleman has, with such spirit and decency, charged upon me, I shall neither attempt to palliate nor deny; but content myself with wishing that I may be one of those whose follies may cease with their youth, and not of that number who are ignorant in spite of experience. Whether youth can be imputed to any man as a reproach, I will not, sir, assume the province of determining; but surely age may become justly contemptible, if the opportunities which it brings have passed away without improvement and vice appears to prevail when the passions have subsided.

Pitt's answer was I can't deny my youth , but I hope my mistakes stop in my youth and don't continue onwards as with others. Whether youth can be held against someone as a disgrace I won't say, but experience is no better if it brings no improvement or old and bad habits die hard.

Leaving so soon pt.2

Arriving in Loughborough, although bouyed by the holy spirit, i was also nervous, and I find it hard meeting new people, but God was so gracious in his provision and I had a christian not just in my hall but in the same block as me. My first year in Loughborough, came with the inevitable challenges of settling into a new place. I got stuck in not just to church life but also Christian Union. It was a great shock to me to be offered the CU presidency after just 3 months, but with much deliberation and consulting those with greater wisdom than I, I felt my responsibility lay with serving the church. At the end of year 1 I was serving and enjoying life in the borough.

Year 2 brought new challenges, living with non-christians and stepping up in many ways. I discovered the wonders of the canal and spent many mornings walking along the towpath. However the most significant thing that happened, was being discipled by Ben Heap. God showed me that I had need to learn from one further on than I, and Ben taught, challenged and encouraged me. By the end of the academic year I was leading the setup team and I had preached in church. I was also learning that God's plans are better than mine, as my idea of a placement year to earn money turned into a year doing FP (FP stands for Frontier Project, it's where you take a year out to voluntarily work for your local church).

My FP/3^rd year was an intense time, on the very first day I learnt that my elder would be leaving in the spring and handing over leadership in the late Autumn. It was a difficult time, adapting to the rigours of church life and dealing with the uncertainty that any leadership change brings. During the training weeks God did much work in me, rooting out arrogance and pride, instilling confidence in his abundant grace and all sufficient nature and teaching me wonderful truths about himself. Both Martin and Dave, although very different to work with were both really good to work for and I enjoyed getting to know both of them personally. God blessed me abundantly during this year, I'm especially grateful to the generosity of my housemates Ben and Tim who covered the majority of the food and bills during the year, to Josh who gave me a contribution every month and to my parents and brother who gave me donations as they felt necessary.

The highlight of the year was going for a week to Valencia, in Spain and learning about church planting in another culture and the faith to believe God can build something from nothing. The biggest achievement was stepping up and being on the front foot in meetings every week, whether serving or bringing contributions, it really increased my respect for those who lead, because if you lead a church you can't just turn up and go 'I don't feel like it this week, I'll sit at the back' you have to be at the front leading. Lastly my lowlight was when the projector screen which was partially broken at the back (held up by the wonders of gaffa tape), started to slowly close, being the FPer and setup team leader I rushed in to try to restore the screen to its intended size unfortunately the screen collapsed, I got the projector shining in my eyes (otherwise known as the Damascus experience) and a lot of puzzled and amused faces looking my way. In hindsight it was funny, at the time it was just embarrassing.

TBC – one more anecdotal part to go.

Leaving so soon pt.1

In the summer of 2003 I was 17 and considering where to apply for University, the options seemed so vast and I knew it was like crossroads with many possible directions I could take. All I knew is I wanted to leave (I've always had a sense of adventure) and I wanted to do something business related. I prayed that God would lead me to the right university, and felt I should be more specific in my course than just Business. I decided to do Accounting & Finance as this is the module in Business Studies I most enjoyed, but I also felt I wanted a placement year.

God lead me to Loughborough, it just felt right, I walked around campus on Boxing Day 2003 with my cousin who had been to Loughborough and it seemed like a place I could live. By early 2004 I knew I was Loughborough bound and I visited the church in easter 2004. It was much smaller than New Community Church, Sidcup, where I had been my whole life, but it was so welcoming. The preach was all about John Groves' prophecy of the 2nd half, and a week later while in Sidcup I felt God speak to me about being a 2nd half substitute in Loughborough.

Summer 2004 was a life changing time. I attended the first Newday (the rainy one) and God's presence came upon me powerfully, three days later I headed with my youth group to South Africa, where God proceeded to fill me with his spirit and give me supernatural confidence taking away my shyness.

It was on the back of this that I headed to Loughborough for my first year at university, spiritually closer to God than ever before, and enjoying worshipping him with all my heart.
To Be Continued

Politics and Geography

This maybe my last post for a while due to job interviews, impending coursework deadlines and exams.

I was doing some bible study this morning and was researching the last part of Matthew 15 where Jesus goes to Magadan. My google search came up with Magadan in Russia, and then I went from there to a link to a place called Transnistria.

Transnistria is a disputed territory in Moldova between Romania and Russia. There was one part of the wikipedia article that really made me laugh. The following quote is taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transnistria

"Election results are considered suspicious, as in 2001 in one region it was reported that Igor Smirnov collected 103.6% of the votes. Nevertheless, some organizations, such as CIS-EMO, have participated and have called them democratic."

Now I heard of Sadaam Hussein having supposedly 'democratic' elections and receiving nearly 100% of the vote, but receiving 103.6 % of the votes is surely corrupt. I fully understand that corruption is not a funny issue and these people seem to be in poverty and to some degree oppression, but I do find it funny that you would try to rig an election and get 103.6% of the votes!

The other striking thing was reading about a city near Magadan, called Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky which is in far Eastern Russia. The city holds nearly 200,000 people and is in apparently beautiful surroundings. The only problem maybe getting there, as there are no roads connecting it to the outside world. It is the second largest city in the world unreachable by roads. The amazing thing is Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky is 4124 miles from St. Petersburg and they are in the same country! To put that in perspective its about the same distance as London to Nairobi or London to Florida, and being in the same country.